Here’s one thing I learned recently—it’s harder than it seems to acknowledge our own talents.

I’ve always believed that humbleness is a great virtue: Being full of oneself is ignorant and gets you hated by everybody; there’s always something we can improve in life.

When I was a child, I learned that Confucius said, “Whenever I walk with 2 other people, there must be a teacher of mine”. I aimed higher and tried to learn from everyone I met.

Later, being a teenager roaming around boarding schools and going overseas on my own, I found out an almost sure way to get along with anybody — just be interested in their lives and learn something from them.

So over the years, these beliefs have worked well for me:

• Nobody is inherently better than anybody else
• Most of us have similar capacities to learn
• I can learn anything if I put my mind into it
• Nurture > nature

In short, the Growth Mindset that they try to sell you.

My new realisation came when I dived into Julia Cameron’s course on building creativity (The Artist’s Way), or perhaps from getting serious about relaxing and taking time to reflect.

I used to think I’ve got nothing special. But I realised that it’s a strong excuse for me to not risk failing. If I’ve got no special talents, then I can lead a normal, safe and default life. I can just fit in. Maybe I’d regret later that I feel like I have never lived, but then I can always convince myself to count my blessings. Better safe than sorry right?

No. 

During my creativity course, I realised that to be creative, at some point you’ll have to give up trying to be everybody else. But I still needed a rationale to trust myself, to be someone, instead of a collection of pieces of people I admire.

A revelation came when I heard an explanation of Kant’s philosophy. He urged people to have the courage to use our own reason, to own our decisions. It is easy to find an expert to tell us what is OK to eat, best practices to tell us how to work, social norms to tell us what to desire, and the media to tell us where and how to look at the Earth. But if we outsourced all our decisions, are we still living a meaningful life? There is a fine line between trust and laziness. We can trust someone for their good intentions, but outsourcing our decisions is lazy and dangerous.

Still, to acknowledge that I have talents feels way too cheesy and silly.

It was made easier by my gratitude practice. Before I dived into my entrepreneurial journey, I started a gratitude practice, to build the resilience to turn adversity into advantage and the strength to envision. The practice is simple, write 3 things that I’m grateful for each day. They can be simple things, and it helps to imagine how bad it would be if I didn’t have something that I’ve taken for granted. 

As I got better at appreciation, I started to see more qualities in other people that I’m thankful for. Then one day I was able to see them in myself. I started writing a list of qualities and skills that I have and appreciate. The list got longer than I initially imagined. And it kept growing. I realised how lucky I am to receive the knowledge and inspiration from all the kind teachers and brilliant mentors I’ve had. All the support from my family and friends that helped me become who I am today. All the human skills I’ve learned, from walking to programming. How quickly I can learn a new skill. How lucky I am to be able to extend trust with an open heart. How incredible it is to use fear to make me quicker and stronger. How available knowledge is to me. My healthy body that’s able to enjoy activities. My mental frameworks to understand the world. My openness to receive help and challenge my beliefs. I realised I have a lot to offer. I have more than enough to help others. I realised there is a place in this world for each of us, and that there is courage and wisdom in our hearts.

• confidence
• creativity